Of False Alarms, Breast Feeding, and Inductions

Yesterday I thought I was leaking amniotic fluid and went up to the hospital to be checked. Nope. Turns out I was just having normal stuff that occurs when you're near the end of a pregnancy. I haven't even dilated any further. But at least now I know what to expect when I go in for the real deal as far as processing and internet access. Turns out that although the WiFi at the hospital is pretty awesome, AIM does not like it. And AIM is the one messenger through which I communicate with Ryan including web cam. Yeah. So I'm attempting to trouble shoot that from home as much as I can in the hopes that it won't fizzle out when I'm in labor and trying to talk to my husband. It's going to be stressful enough trying to set up the laptop where he can actually see and hear me while there are a million doctors and nurses continuously moving it out of the way for their stuff as they poke and prod me. It was tough attempting it yesterday with just the one nurse and doctor who were checking me. It's going to be an interesting thing to make happen, but I'll do the best I can.

So this entire pregnancy I have been very adamant about not breast feeding. I just wanted to pump and supplement with formula. But after thinking about the reality of how much harder it would be to keep my supply up with pumping, I have decided to just kind of go with the flow and use a little bit of everything. I know that I will definitely be breast feeding for those first few days until my milk comes in but after that I suppose I will base what happens when on convenience and necessity. If I'm at home, it's 1 o'clock in the morning, and I have no milk stored in the refrigerator, I'll probably breast feed. But I also hope to have some pumped and stored so that Ryan can be more involved with feedings and so we can go out from time to time without me being the modest person I am and freaking out about having to breast feed in public. Powdered formula will help serve that purpose, too, as a supplement, though. I figure if I always know I can use the formula then I won't be stressing out so much about ensuring I have milk stored or being able to breast feed in certain situations. I also know if I go into breast feeding without having my heart set on any one scenario that I will be a lot less frustrated and disappointed if things don't work out according to plan. So I'm going into the entire thing open minded and prepared for whichever option or combination of options works best.

I can't believe I'm only two days away from my due date and still pregnant. I really never thought I'd last this long. For some reason I thought this past weekend was the furthest I would go. But now I'm beginning to think I'm going to be overdue. I really, really, really don't want to go the induction route so I'm just hoping Anya decides to arrive before next week. My doctors won't let me go any further than next Wednesday without inducing. So if I'm still pregnant at my appointment on Friday I suppose I'll be scheduling that induction for early next week. All I know is laying in that hospital bed yesterday afternoon hooked up to the monitors and everything really brought reality crashing in. This will be happening and soon. There's no going back now. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Ryan and I are both so excited about this baby. He can't wait to see her, and I just want to be able to hold her and know that everything is alright. Tick tock, Anya.