Communication is Key

Ryan and I have officially resolved all of our issues concerning the money and everything during this deployment once and for all. Before I even said anything he had already apologized and said he felt bad all day yesterday when he thought about our argument because he realized half the things he said were just ridiculous and didn't make sense. (In his defense, he'd been up almost 24 hours when he was talking to me and probably only had a handful of hours of sleep before that.) So I didn't really need to send him the letter I blogged earlier, but I did anyway because I felt like he needed to see the effects something like this has on me. After he read it, we had a nice talk and have forgiven each other for all of our short comings in the recent months and even for some things we were still holding grudges about from before he left. It's kind of like a fresh start. We're letting go of all the things that were causing resentment to build up and moving forward. And I think that makes his impending homecoming that much sweeter of a reunion. The bad news is, he found out today that homecoming has been delayed to more like mid-November. Which sucks, but on the positive side:

1. We'll get two more paychecks with hazard pay and all that jazz. Yay for extra money we weren't planning on which will help us save up for a newer car for Ryan faster than we had planned and have our financial cushion with a little bit more ease.

2. It'll give me time after the move to get settled into the apartment and unpack as I have time throughout the day. I'll be able to get Anya into a routine before Ryan comes home that he can learn and slip into with us instead of trying to figure that all out whilst in the middle of clinging to Ryan and ruining any sort of chance at a routine we had.

But regardless of the delay, I'm looking forward to his homecoming with a new happiness I didn't know I could feel. I'm so glad we are putting this whole mess behind us and want to work harder to be amazing for each other. That's always been the thing with Ryan and me. Almost everything we've ever done has been for the other person. But we don't really lose out because everything they do is for us. It's win-win. And I love him so very much for being that person. And for wanting to be with me forever no matter how much we fight or what we fight about. In the end we're always together and come out stronger for what we have been through. My husband is an amazing man. And I just want to put that out there after all of the venting I've done regarding this recent argument. Because no one else can measure up to him for me. Ever. He is it. As I think I've said before, if soulmates exist, then he is mine. No one has ever understood me the way he does. He puts up with a lot of crap from me with my bipolar breakdowns and the pessimism that usually accompanies it. And even after all of that he still tells me I'm perfect.

That's love.

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