Of the Recently Unjournaled

7AM is too early for me to be awake. Today my landlord is coming to take down the swamp cooler (the form of air conditioning out here) and turn on the heater. And I already hear them outside working on something else. Ugh. Four hours of sleep does not agree with me. Must sleep more. T-T As soon as they leave, I'm crashing again. Haha. No doubt about that. Though I will be thankful for heat. It's getting cold at night, and we've had a few chillier days recently. I'm wrapped up in my jacket right now. I wish they'd hurry and get this over with so I can sleep. My eyes do not want to stay open.

So I'm kind of tired of everyone thinking it's their job to tell me how I should handle every miniscule decision in my life. Last time I checked it's my time, our money, and my actions to deal with the consequences for, be they good or bad. Let me make my decisions and make my mistakes if that's what they are. Some advice now and then isn't so bad. But it's gotten to the point where I dread talking to some people because I know I'm going to be lectured at some point about how Ryan and I spend our money, and how I'm spending my time. I just want to catch up when I talk to them. I don't need life lessons. It's my life. Let me succeed or fail within it in the ways I choose. I'm tired of feeling like I can't say everything, especially here on my blog - which is supposed to be my journal - because I might be scolded for it. Forget that. This is my journal, and I've decided in recent days that it's a valauble outlet for my bad days and vents, and fun for my good days and hyper moments of discovery born of bored internet surfing. No one is forced to read it and certainly isn't forced to like it. But this journal has been my sanity on more than one occasion, and I can't be afraid to keep using it the way I should be. I've been neglecting it more recently when it comes to deeper emotional issues and subjects that are touchy with this person or that person I know is reading. No more. My journal. My thoughts. Uncensored. Hope I don't offend anyone beyond repair because that is not my objective. I just want my journal back. Period.