Identity Crisis

I've almost finished this drama. Haha. I spend way too much time staring at the computer screen, reading subtitles. ^_^;; But it's like a drug; I can't stop at just one episode, and I'm constantly searching for the next drama to watch. And when I'm not wrapped up in one drama or another, I'm playing Sims 2. I don't feel like I've really had the chance to play it to the fullest extent like I did with the original Sims. And Sims 3 comes out next year! I'm going to need a memory upgrade so I can just continue to have the Sims 2, as well, and hopefully play my current families through since I've never gotten very far with all the reinstalling due to computer changes and crashes, etc. Ugh.

I'm attempting to make my apartment more colorful and Erika-like. I've actually stopped using the two bedrooms all together. I just pretend I'm in a studio and make up a little bed on the couch at night. It was just too much space for lonely, little me. I was only using the one bedroom to begin with and only for the few hours of sleep I'd end up getting after tossing and turning for hours every night. So I figured I'll just have less space to short term decorate and less darkness to swallow me and make me feel so much more alone. I sound so dramatic. Haha. But it's true. I originally wanted a studio apartment anyway so it works for me. I should get some pictures up soon. Just hoping for a few more colorful touches to make the place acceptable for me.

I'm probably going to spend the next few evenings at home 'cause Ryan and I just end up bored and frustrated with each sitting around on base every day. Might as well give him some time to play his games and sit around the lounges with his buddies and give myself some time to play Sims 2, do some artwork and writing, work on finishing up my dad's logo once my graphics tablet gets here, and just find myself again. I gave up so many things back when I was dating Aaron, and I feel like I should take this time while I'm not working or in school to rediscover the things that used to make me tick. I feel like I have no identity beyond being Ryan's wife, at the moment, and that's not healthy considering the chunks of time we're going to be separated in this lifestyle. I need to be able to be entertained and content on my own with my own hobbies and interests so I'm not just a miserable, mopey mess when we're apart.