P.S.

I think part of my previous rant was misunderstood. I am going to finish school. I'm not quitting, children or no children. I intend to go online starting next semester and go until I'm finished. But doing online coursework will allow me the freedom to have a child sooner rather than later. I don't want to be stressed out about not getting pregnant so I can finish school. Going online gives me the ability to do both. I understand it won't be easy no matter how I go about it, but going online would be preferable to juggling a traditional course schedule and attending classes physically. I want to be able to embrace the prospect of a child if it happens within the next two years while I'm in school rather than freak out because I have to juggle the two. Online schooling is my answer to that. I repeat: I am not quitting. At no point have I said I am quitting school so I don't know where that idea came from. I'm making it clear now that I'm finishing my degree.

Also, I know no plans go unchanged in this life, but my husband and I don't believe in divorce. Period. The end. It is not an option for us; it does not exist. We made a commitment to each other, and unlike a lot of people in today's society we believe that means more than just the piece of paper it's written on. It is not something to be undone by signing another document. Marriage means a heck of a lot more than that to us. No offense to anyone else or the choices made in their relationships, but it is not a choice Ryan nor I will make; it is not even an option. We're stuck together until death do us part. Our moral and religious beliefs only contribute further to the commitment we've made to each other. Just because we're young doesn't automatically mean we're ignorant to the world or how it works. We know. But we also know our own beliefs and each other well enough to know what we were getting into when we said, "I do." We knew it was for life, and we wouldn't have it any other way. He's not going to leave me holding the bag, nor I him for any reason. I know that's hard to believe in today's world, but the only way I can prove anyone who says otherwise wrong is to just keep doing what we're doing and stay together. And that's exactly what we'll do whether anyone else believes we can or not.

As for being too young for children or the commitment they bring, my mother was my age when she had me. And her mother wasn't much older when she had her. We come from a long line of young love, speedy marriage, and kids within the next year. And my grandparents still make each other cry at Christmas with the mushy cards they exchange. And my parents are still together going on 22 years next April. My mother turned out alright. My brother and I turned out alright. I have good role models in the women in my family. I am not afraid of nor ashamed of being a young wife and mother. Because I have seen it at work. My mom was glad to be young when she had us because she got to have fun right along with us. She listened to my music, and I shared her clothes and shoes. It made us closer. My dad was able to be goofy and wrestle us or have the courage only being a crazy guy in your early 20's gives you to go on children's rides at theme parks with us anyway or throw straw wrappers at my brother in restaurants. And I want to have that for my children. My parents were good parents, but they were also awesome friends. So we trusted them and confided in them more than most kids our age. We wanted to be around them. We were never embarrassed to hang out with our parents because they were some of our best friends. And it's something I look up to.

I don't want to work because I think being a mother is a full time job. One that I embrace. A lot of people I talk to are of the opinion that I'm lazy or unmotivated to try for anything more. Anyone who really knows me knows better. I want to devote my life to my husband and children. If my husband and I really need the extra money, I will get work when my kids are in school so as not to lose time with them. I will have my degree by then as well as the several years of experience in office work I have from working both at Tusculum College and the hospital in Knoxville. I'm not lacking for options should I need them. In the meantime, my family will be my priority.