Life Without Ryan

Is weird already. ^_^;; I was allowed to accompany him to his hotel last night, and he was allowed to sign out and walk around downtown. So we ended up going to the theater there and seeing Leatherheads which we had wanted to see while in Greeneville over the weekend but didn't. Afterward I walked the couple of blocks home, and he walked back to the hotel. We did, however, take our last pre-basic training pictures together in a photo booth at the theater.



This morning after class his recruiter picked me up to sit with Ryan at MEPS until he left. He shared his free lunch sandwhich, chips, fruit, and a cookie with me. : ) That's love. Then we sat together just holding hands and looking at each other for the last time for a long time. It was hard not to cry when they called for the shippers to line up at the door. Thankfully I was allowed to follow him all the way to the car. (There were only three guys going today so I suppose an entire bus wasn't really necessary. Heh.) I got my last hug and a kiss before he got into the front sit as group leader. (^_^ Already getting ahead, silly man.) We waved and mouthed, "I love you," until the car pulled onto the main road, and we couldn't see each other anymore.

I never cried. Came close to tearing up, but I held back. I cried a few times in the past week, and Ryan asked why I was upset when he hadn't even left yet. I told him it was because I wanted to cry while he was still here to hold me. Because crying without his arms around me would only make me feel worse. So I'm going to be strong. I'm proud of Ryan, and there is no reason for tears. He doesn't want me to be a miserable, mopey mess for the next three months so I'm determined to stay happy. For him if for nothing else.

I wrote my first letter telling him I loved him and missed him already - you know, the generic kind of stuff that doesn't feel generic when you write it - while I was waiting for his recruiter to pick me up. I sat at the recruiting station with him and the other recruiters for a few minutes before he brought me home a few minutes ago. The apartment already feels so empty.

But I have a lot to concentrate on. I have to memorize my final speech for Japanese, finish my last online lab for Astronomy, write my last reaction paper for Sociology, prepare for finals in all three classes at the end of the month as well as a lab final in Astronomy, hunt down the perfect wedding shoes before Saturday so I can wear them for my first fitting, and track down the last couple of addresses so I can wrap up sending wedding invites and concentrate on some other aspect of the wedding. And when all that is done I will be heading to Greeneville for the rest of the summer so I won't be anywhere near as lonely or bored with my family and friends around.