Musings of the Bipolar Sort

Ryan and I were approved for our first credit cards through our bank, and they arrived in the mail yesterday. We already have a plan to use Ryan's for gasoline and pay it off monthly since we already would've used that money to pay for gas out of pocket. Mine is reserved for travel and emergencies and will be paid off as quickly as possible without killing ourselves over it. We're pretty excited to actually be building credit. We always get turned down because we're "kids" with no credit. How are you supposed to get credit if no one ever approves you? Gah! But these cards are for our student accounts at the bank so they were approved easily. Finally.

Last night we watched two movies with Robin Williams as the lead: Patch Adams and What Dreams May Come. The former is a favorite from my childhood that I haven't seen in years, but I'd never seen the latter before. It was quite the artsy movie. I'm still not sure if I liked it or not. I can relate to it in many ways mostly because of how the wife deals with trauma and stuff. My bipolar disorder often makes it hard for me to deal like other people so I break down or close myself off from reality and other people. I could see myself spiraling down like that if I lost both my children and husband right down to the point where she commits suicide. Sadly, I relate to those thoughts and feelings. Messed up, right? Wouldn't expect someone as cheerful as me to have such thoughts, but I do. Heh. Oddly, I've become so accustomed to them that I don't feel weird about it. Sometimes I scare myself, though, and thank goodness I have Ryan to bring me down to Earth. He knows better than to ever leave me alone if I'm really down or we have a fight. I love him for the way he takes care of me. <3 Of course, the anti-depressants help, too, I suppose. But sometimes they aren't sufficient if I get upset enough so Ryan is my back-up happy pill. : 3

Today was the last day of class until exams so now I just have to study and catch up on all of my reading for Astronomy and Economics so that I stand the chance of passing my tests. ^_^;; I really need to ace all of my exams to ensure I pass with more than a 'C' because I'm just not the 'C' kind of student. I at least want a mid-to-high 'B'. I think I can pull that off if I just study hard for these upcoming final exams. Hopefully.