Aishiteru

So Ryan and I are now saying, "I love you." Yeah. It's happened. I've fallen for someone...who isn't Aaron. Aren't you all proud? : D Aaron feels like a distant memory now; almost like he didn't even happen, and Ryan's the one I've been with all this time. I don't know. Everything with Ryan just feels so...right. No doubts or reservations; and you'll all remember how many of those I had with Aaron. I've never felt so crazy about a person. I can't get enough of him. I'm always thinking about him and missing him when he's not with me. But I'm not depressed when he is gone like I was with Aaron because I know Ryan is thinking of me, too, whereas I always worried that Aaron was being unfaithful. (Which I recently found out that Aaron was cheating on me pretty regularly throughout the entire last half of our relationship.)

Ryan and I talk a lot about all the things we are and aren't. And we both think it's crazy how much we love each other already. We're already dropping the big word: forever. And we don't want to go through what we just did with our past significant others, but for some odd reason neither of us feels like we're taking a risk. It's so hard to explain. We've both liked each other for some time, and we feel like things worked out the way they did for a reason. We're both fate kind of people. We're so perfect for one another. The way we act; the way we think. We are exactly the kind of people we'd hoped to end up with in the end. And here we are. We've only been together less than two months, but I suppose knowing and liking each other for two years before this kind of gave us a head start on the getting to know one another. Haha. We already know what we want from another person in a relationship; and we both seem to fit the description perfectly for each other. And we aren't afraid. Suddenly all our fears of heartbreak have disappeared. Ryan has even dropped the 'm' word. Yeah. Marriage. Not tomorrow or anything. But we both know we want to be together for a long time; forever even.

Last night he asked me to never leave him. I told him if we ever broke up it would be because he left me. And he said that was never going to happen. He'd waited two years to get me. ^_^;; And I told him I'd already made the mistake of letting him go once; I was never going to do that again. And then we agreed that we are stuck together then. Haha. Forever. And we agreed that forever wasn't so scary anymore. Not if we were facing it together. o( ^ o ^ )o ♥ Wow. My parents love Ryan. My whole family does. They were never fond of Aaron. And even my dad says he hopes this is for good because he has NEVER seen me so happy. My mother already told me she expects a ring on my finger by next Christmas. She just thinks this is the one for me. That by this time next year Ryan and I will be talking marriage seriously and not just in romantic passing. I don't know. Guess we'll just have to wait and see. And I'm not even scared about it. I feel like this is right. Like this is where I need to be. Ryan wants to go into the airforce, and he told me last night that ever since he started liking me during our brief five day relationship two years ago, he'd been prepared to ask to be stationed in Okinawa to be closer to me in Tokyo until his four years were up and he could live with me there. Wow. For two years he's been prepared to follow me around the Earth, and we weren't even together. He amazes me. He is officially the love of my life. I never thought I would love someone more than Aaron; and I've never felt something so RIGHT. I can't even explain how I feel everytime I look at Ryan and see him looking back at me like I'm the only thing in the universe. The only person that matters. It's wonderful. I'm in love with Ryan. And I'm not afraid to say forever anymore.