Ryan

So...this is going to seem really out of nowhere for all of you because I haven't been updating like I should. So I'll just start at the beginning. Earlier last week my dear friend Ryan was dumped by his girlfriend, Jamie, of over a year for another boy. I've him known since my Junior year at GHS. We dated for five days then, but decided to just be friends because I was still pining after John and that wasn't fair to Ryan. But we've stayed close as friends ever since. It was never that we didn't like each other, though.

Well, I saw his blog on MySpace about his situation, and I commented telling him I really cared about him and was here for him if he needed me to talk to or anything. He started IMing me frequently, and we just vented to each other. We really felt like there was finally someone who understood our situations. Because I had just experienced losing Aaron, Ryan felt like he could really talk to me about things, and it made us both feel better.

On Thursday night Ryan called me. We talked until 2AM about Aaron and Jamie some, but we mostly talked about completely random stuff. We even talked about our once upon a time attempt at dating each other. We made plans to go out on Sunday. It was never called a date, but we never moved to call it just hanging out either. Then on Friday, Ryan came to see me at work. He messaged me that night. And on Saturday I called him on my break at McDonald's. He called me again Saturday night for a while.

So we went out last night. And it was pretty much a date. He wouldn't let me pay for anything. We went to eat and saw a movie. (By the way, Stranger than Fiction is an awesome movie; you should go see it...now.) By the end of the movie he'd gathered up the courage to hold my hand. And I was actually surprised to realize it gave me butterflies. ^_^;; It was then and there that I decided I would date Ryan if he asked me. Butterflies don't lie, as my favorite song so wonderfully states. We spent the rest of the movie holding hands and semi-cuddling. No making out or anything. That's so tasteless. I go to the movies to watch the damn movie. Haha. I can make out with someone anywhere I damn please - why waste the money on a movie ticket just to make out. Seriously.

Anywho, we held hands all the way home in his car and everything. It was sweet. He opened doors for me all night and everything. ^_^ When we finally pulled back into my driveway at midnight we sat there for a second before Ryan asked me if I wanted to try dating again. And I said yes. And then I kissed him. Haha. Me. I just did it. Just a quick peck kiss, but I think it made his whole night. He asked when he could see me again, and I told him I didn't know. I'm always freakin' working. >_<;;

So I'm in a relationship again. Haha. We shall see how it goes. I'm excited because of the fact that he does give me butterflies. I was so afraid I'd never find someone that gave me butterflies like Aaron. (Michael didn't-at all.) But Ryan does. And that was my deciding factor. So I guess Japanese man is SOL. Haha. I never did anything to make it seem like I was interested in anything more than friendship, but I do feel kind of guilty so I'm going to say something in my next e-mail about how things have changed. Just to make sure he knows that friendship is all I want from him. Ugh. I'm such a heartbreaker. : P Okay, not really. Haha.