Weakness

So Aaron called me last night, and we yelled at each other. I was out with my friend Katie in Johnson City. We both eventually calmed down, and he said he'd call me later. I was still in Johnson City at about midnight so I text him to see if he wanted me to stop by. Keep in mind Katie and I were at her brother's apartment with a bunch of friends.

Aaron: I dont care im with brad

Erika: I'll text you when I'm getting ready to leave Jason's apartment. Don't know when that will be.

Aaron: Jason?

Erika: A friend.

Aaron: Explain please

Erika: Explain what?

Aaron: Who jason is

Erika: Katie's older brother. Why?

Well, he never answered my question. Haha. But I knew he wouldn't. He was so damn jealous he couldn't stand it. Oi vey. So when I finally get out of Jason's apartment I call him to ask if he wants me to stop by or not.

Aaron: I guess. Do you want to? (The second part was said in his mushy voice.)

Erika: Yes.

Aaron: Well, call me if the outside door is locked and you can't get in.

So we go, I call him to tell him the door IS locked, as usual. So I try to hang up as he's coming downstairs, and he does one of his random mushy things. "No, you stay on the phone." ^_^;; Katie and I hung out in his dorm for a while. And I gave in to my weakness. I cuddled with him. I let him hold me and wrestle with me and have a tickle war. When it was time to go I cried. I hugged him, kissed his cheek, and stroked his hair. Why? Because that's the last time. You heard me. I gave in because, like I said in my last entry, it's his turn to chase me. And I just wanted what could have been my last cuddle with him. From now on, I'm his friend. Since he claims that's how he wants us to be. And I'm going to go out on dates with other boys when they ask me. I won't cancel just because Aaron calls crying about still being in love with me and not wanting me to go out with someone else. Too fucking bad. He's either my boyfriend or he's not. No more limbo. And until he comes to me and says he wants to be my boyfriend again, that's how it's going to be. I'm not playing his games anymore. I'm not letting him hurt me like this. I've cried my last cry. I'm ready to face this thing. How it all ends is up to Aaron. But I'll be damned if I'm going to let him control me or my heart anymore.