I hate everything about you so why do I love you?

It really sucks to realize the person I spent a year of my life loving doesn't care. That all of the things I did and said, all the time I put aside, and all the things I felt don't mean anything to him. That he has time to be on MySpace thirty bajillion times a day sending messages to everyone else, but he can't spare thirty seconds to send me a, "Hello. How are things?". Whatever. I don't want to care anymore. I'm tired of believing his bullshit lies about always caring for me in some way and wanting to be there for me and take care of me. Men are so full of shit. About everything. I knew that. I just thought he was different. I thought maybe he'd give me a reason to change my mind. But no. In the end he just reinforced my view that men are definitely full of shit. All of the time. No exceptions. They're all assholes that only think about one thing. Even him. I'm tired of trying to defend him. I'm tired of trying to keep hoping. And I'm tired of hurting because I still love him so much. I want to hate him. I really do. If I hate him I won't have to worry about getting my feelings hurt when he doesn't call for weeks. If I hate him I won't have to worry about my heart breaking all over again the first time I see him with someone else. If I hate him I won't have the urge to cry over every female friend that's ahead of me on his MySpace friends list. If I hate him I won't have to think about him anymore. If I hate him I won't spend my days trying to think of ways not to think about him. Heh. But I can't do that. He wanted so badly to break down my walls and become the most important thing in my life. And he succeeded just in time to throw it back in my face like none of it was worthy of him. That nothing we said or did for the entire year we were together meant anything. That it was all meaningless, and I was worthless as not only a romantic interest but as a friend as well. He would just say he's busy. But that's bullshit. Because I've seen him message other girls and his buddies twenty million times in a span of minutes on a daily basis. He has time. I'm just not worth any of it anymore.