Dear Aaron

The way you talked to me tonight really hurt me. I didn't deserve what you've done or any of those things you said, and you know that. No one deserves to be talked to like that. You talked to me like I was trash; dirt under your feet. Because your buddies were there. But you know what? You all think that treating girls like their dispensable, worthless objects that you don't need to commit to makes you men. You couldn't be more wrong. And the fact that you let your so called friends talk you into treating me that way, when we were dating and now, makes you weak. You are a coward. What you've done doesn't make you a man. Standing up for me, for us would have made you a man. Telling those who made fun of you for loving me to piss off would have made you a man. Treating me the way you treat me when we're alone no matter who you are with would make you a man.

But you need someone to hold your hand. You have to follow everyone else. Heaven forbid you act even slightly like yourself around your friends. But if you have to be fake to remain in their good graces, they are not your friends. But you won't listen to me. It's a lesson you'll have to learn on your own. Because I'm tired of trying to help you and getting nothing for it. You take me for granted. Even now. You know you can talk to me like that because I'll forgive you. I always do. Better to ask me for forgiveness later than to show what you think is weakness in front of your friends by being yourself with me. And I do forgive you. I don't appreciate the way you talked to me or the promises you broke tonight, but I forgive you. Because I care about you.

You supposedly cared about me, too. You said, and I quote, "I will always love you. Even if it's not in a romantic way. I always want to be in your life and take care of you." And that is the real you. The you I fell in love with. The you that you hide when you are with the people you call your friends. And that is pathetic. It's weak. It's stupid. But it's a mistake you have to make. Because I can't stop you from doing it. No matter how much it hurts me to see you do what you are doing to yourself. And I know you say it isn't your friends. But I know guys. And I know the advice every female has given me. "It's his friends. They told him he should party and be commitment free, and they finally convinced him." And I think they're right.

But when you're done partying, I'll still be here. Because I love you. I'll always be around to pick up the pieces for you. For your comfort. For your support. Because even if I don't mean as much to you anymore, you still mean the world to me. From now on when you're stressed, call me. Don't take it out on me the way you did tonight. That's what I'm here for. To help you through the tough times. You know that. It doesn't mean you should take it for granted. But I'm here. I always will be. I love you. And you know that. The rest is up to you.

(I had already written most of this before you called me back. But I think it's something I still need to say. I'll talk to you tomorrow, and I'll see you sometime this week. Take care of yourself and don't stress too much. Even if my parents don't really love you right now - hehe - you always have somewhere to go and someone to turn to. Remember that.)

Copied from an e-mail to Aaron.