Relief

So I was overreacting. By the time he called, I'd calmed down about it anyway. I knew he wouldn't do something like that. He said he doesn't even know someone named Trevor, but if he finds out who it is he's going to talk to them. O-o

Anywho, right after that he said something about our break meaning we were single. I was like, hold up. Since when are we single? Cooling things down, maybe, but single? Ouch, much? So I broke down. I promised myself I wouldn't. That I would be strong for him. But I couldn't do it. I sobbed over the phone. I told him I couldn't do this break thing. That it was killing me. It scared me. Because I felt alone and unwanted. I doubted us for the first time ever. And it hurt, not only emotionally, but physically as well.

He got off the phone for a moment, and when he called me back I was still sobbing. The heart palpitations were starting. But I didn't want to say anything. He told me to calm down. That he had something to tell me. Apparently, as he told me later, he had called a friend that was helping him stay on track with this break and told them he couldn't do it anymore. He told me that the break was over. That I could calm down. Everything's going to be okay. Of course, my heart palpitations don't speak English so they continued for a while longer even when I finally stopped crying.

I told him about them, and he stayed on the phone with me until they stopped. He has school in the morning so we said goodnight. And even though my chest still hurts from the remnants of those palpitations. Even though my eyes burn like hell. And even though I'll probably have bags the size of luggage under my eyes at his prom tomorrow - I'm okay now. He's back. And he loves me. And we are going to fix this TOGETHER.