Moving On

Meg sent me a lovely curse-filled e-mail in response to my previous entry:

Alright, I'm not really sure how to do this, but here goes...

First off, I remember once you told me that we could talk about anything. That it was awesome we didn't have to keep everything bottled up and make the other person guess why we were angry. Well, I guess you lied because you sure didn't tell me any of this junk before you told everybody else on the internet. You say you don't want to put up with drama? That is exactly what you're doing. People just don't forget these things. I remember when this happenned between us and Ashley; I wanted to still be friends with Ashley too. I didn't understand why she was acting that way. Now you're doing the same thing. You never once mentioned any of this.

I hung out with other people because you kicked me to the curb. What did you expect? Did you think I was just going to sit there and wait for Aaron to leave? What kind of friend are you to ask me to be there for you when you only want me there when he's not?! I haven't ever canceled plans with you to hang out with my friends, which I assume is Brandi. I canceled plans with Brandi twice for your ass! Don't tell me I don't sacrifice for you!

Now, the whole paragraph about my pissiness and my self-absorbedness... I don't get that. When have I done that? I need specific examples now. Funny, though, I thought that about you for quite some time. I remember you wanted to go out and eat on a school night, and I was hungry so I was for it, but you wanted to go to IHOP. I didn't want to go because it was in Johnson City, which would waste my gas. I thought we were going to go somewhere in Greeneville, but you whined so much I had to let you walk all over me. There are others, but that one is the one that popped in my head first. I don't know why you think you know what goes on in my head, but let me tell you, you're WRONG. Plus, I'd like to know the sacrifices you've made for me... because I can't name any. Also, I didn't know that you kept tab... because that's what "friends" do.

Aaron and McDonald's: You only asked me ONE time! It was about ten-ish, you knew I was tired, you knew I had homework, and you told me it would be a quick five minutes so you could kiss him, hug him, say "I love you", and say good-bye. You lied, again. You never mentioned staying there for thirty minutes. That's why I was a bit annoyed with you that night. So, get over that... it's your own fault.

With the next paragraph, you're pissing me the hell off. Let's see, Erika made a committment. Megan... didn't. I never said I was your chauffer to that fucking anime club. I told you I didn't like it, and I don't think you do either. You just want to "school" everyone else. That's why I didn't think it would've been sooooo important for you. Plus, the first time you told me about it, I remember your friend was willing to take you home that night. What happenned? Did you piss them off too? MMmmm.. I haven't left you standing there.. Nope. Don't remember.

You never did shit between me and Aaron. As I recall, I mentioned to you about Aaron talking to two girls at the NPAC, he got upset, he blamed me, and you told me it was my fault.. I don't know how I continued to do it more either. Could you send me examples of that too? I never said I hated Aaron either. I think he can be a baby sometimes, but you've said that too so I don't see why that should concern you. You didn't really work your ass off for our friendship much did you? Oh, you can do it for a stupid trip, but not for a person. I mean, if you really did try to work your "ass off" like you said you did, you would have told me a long time ago and to me first without the internet homos involved.

After all you've complained about because it isn't going your way, do you honestly think I'd ever consider being your "friend" again or even consider talking to you? With Ash I wanted to talk to her again and mend everything, but with you... you're worse. I don't want to talk to you or see you. I feel I have to let you know this because you were too busy thinking about yourself and how to get everything you wanted to consider my feelings about being kicked to the curb or what you might have done wrong. But you're Erika, you never do anything wrong, God forbid. I love how you can send me those text messages, get exactly what you want, and then when I come you can act like you haven't said any of those hurtful things to me. That was low. I had finally decided to go to Tokyo with you even though my dad didn't want me to, but after that, how could anyone want to go to another country with someone so absorbed. All the things you tried to do to keep me from moving away from you made me want to leave even more. Like trying to tell me to stay here for college. It is my life! You're not going to take that away from me! It's mine. Fuck yours up, not mine.

But by far, this mess about Tokyo... that is by far the most immature thing you have ever thought. You think that it is my fault? You think I have to pay for that? Tough luck. That's life. I'm not apart of that anymore. It is no more my responsibility to pay the difference than to pick up a cow terd in a field somewhere. Just shove that thought up yours.

Everything is about you, Erika. Have you looked at what you've written lately? It is all about you. You are the center of everything. Just because I have an opinion, which I think is perfectly okay, doesn't mean you should become the nasty monster bitch that you've become. You're not sad one bit are you? There are lots of other things I'd wish to say, but I can't remember them right now.

What do you love about Tokyo so much anyway? I'm not saying it won't be fun, but what makes it so different from some other Japanese city?

I would've called you on the phone or something, but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't listen to me because you're too stubborn.

You let stupid things get in the way. It is your fault. You ended our friendship. With your lies and your selfishness, it is your fault.
If I remember anything I've forgotten, I'll be sure to e-mail it to you.

And then I sent this in response to her e-mail:

I'm not going to argue with you. What good would it do? You'll never back down from the, "I'm right, you're wrong." Because no one wants to be wrong, even when they are. I don't want to start drama. I meant it when I said it. So I refuse to be a part of the drama you're trying to create. Because attempting to make you see my point of view is not only fruitless, it would be trying. And I already said I was done trying. And I am. If you don't want to talk to me, so be it. But you're playing the same games you claim to hate so much by doing so. I won't bother you anymore so don't worry about it. I just expect the same from you in return. If you don't want to be in contact with me, don't start sending me e-mails full of cursing. That proves nothing for you. I wash my hands of this mess. Maybe there is something about me that causes my friends to turn into what they have in the past. Guess I'll have to look into that. But never call me a liar. Because I've never lied. And I did talk to you. Even my mother remembers the night you stayed late because we were talking about this stuff. But you don't want to remember that. So whatever. When you can talk to me like a human being, then do so. Until then, don't worry about it. Because nothing you could say would make me feel bad. I know I haven't done anything to warrant the way you've been treating me. That's enough for me. Sorry things had to work out the way they did. But life sucks like that. You'll get over it, and so will I. I wish you the best.

And now I'm done. Moving on.

Mom and I found out that the travel company goofed and put Meg's deposit, which she wouldn't get back regardless, towards our trip total. Haha. So now we only have to pay $179 more per person. : D Which means, we'll be scraping by, but we'll make it to Tokyo! The travel company is going to honor their goof. w00t!

EDIT: And then I got this on my Friends Only entry:

I sure am glad to see that u took the "essay" about Meg off your little journal BS. And if u can't figure it out for yourself, this isn't megan... duh. After she called me last crying to me b/c of YOUR SELFISHNESS(self-absorbed). Please explain how you have sacrificed ANYTHING for her to where you won't get something back. If anyone is selfish its you, and your the only person that is walking on anybody. Its not Megan's job or responsibility to tote your ass to where ever it is you need to go(u know what i'm talking about), plus the only reason u want her to stay here for collage is more proof that you are a selfish biatch, i guess Erin and Keesha are really right about you. The only reason your getting pissed off at Megan is b/c she is hanging w/ me and isn't up your ass 24/7. If u have any problem w/ me or any of my friends u need to get some balls and tell me, don't bitch at Megan for it. She can't help the fact that she has more friends than u do, and you have no right to tell megan that she has never "sacrificed" for u or whatever, she has cancelled our plans together numbers of times just so she could do whatever it is u wanted to do. Yeah it made me mad, but i got over it, i didn't act like a little 10 year old brat and kick and scream until i got what i wanted. Sure meg makes me mad some times but it doesn't matter, she's still a good friend and if u can't see how childish YOUR being and all of the "DRAMA" your starting not her then you must be the dumbest person in the world. She isn't the one who started anything u did, she only told u that she didn't want to go on that trip and U flipped out about it and made megan of all people think that she's a bad person, b/c of you. If you can't handle the fact that she has other friends and other things to do besides be around u 24/7, then you obviously can't handle being a good friend. And before you even think about calling me a bitch, think again b/c i'm not, I'm just stating the truth about what i've seen and what i've heard. And of course there is another side to the story, there always will be, but i'm going on what i know b/c i've delt with girls like you before. Megan is the kind of person that would'nt lie to me, my friends don't lie to ME, and if they do they are no longer my friends. And donh't try to blame her for me leaving you a comment, i hate to tell you but i have a mind of my own. She has tried to stop me many times from telling u off, b/c i knew if i didn't she wouldn't. But it seems she already beat me, and for that i'm proud of her, she finally opened her mouth a stood up for herself, thank god. I take it opon myself to look after megan as if she were my sister, that's the way it is with all my friends, if they're in trouble i will be right there to help. So you pissed meg off now you've pissed me off. Unlike meg i can't keep my mouth shut, and i won't. It sounds to me like you need a serious reality check and grow up and tke responsibility for your own shit and stop blaming other people for yourcrap. But life sucks ... so GET OVER IT AND YOURSELF.

Will people ever learn to just leave something alone when it's done. *shakes head*

And this is why I got out of high school. Because the stuff above is a 24/7 battle where I went to high school. It spreads from the halls to the parking lots to phone calls to the internet. Ridiculous. Luckily I don't let it bother me like I once did. The old me would have been crying and trying to fight back. But the me I am now knows it's pointless to fight with people who resort to such methods as cursing and ganging up because they only resort to those things when they know they're wrong.

...

Wow.

People amuse me.