Stuck

So Aaron came over yesterday. Everything with us is fine - in fact, we seem to be doing even better than before our fight. ^_^;; He spent the day with me, and when it was time for him to go home he was going to tuck me in as he usually does. It's just one of our cutesy little traditions, I guess. Anyway, my mom decides she wants me to do the dishes before I can go to bed. Which I never have to do. I never HAVE to do the dishes period. Nevermind on a day when Aaron is over. And I had already done them FOR HER without being asked to once yesterday. So I was mad. And I think rightfully so. It's not like she asked nicely. She was yelling at me about it. When I had said nothing. And she KNOWS that Aaron and I have that little tradition. Her excuse: she did my handwash laundry for me. Um, she's my mother...isn't that her job? I wouldn't have minded doing the dishes anyway if she'd told me earlier that she expected me to do them. Then Aaron could have tucked me in, and everything could have been dandy.

Anywho, Aaron said he'd help me get them done so he could still tuck me in. Fifteen minute job with him helping to rinse and dry. Mom and Dad both went on the warpath about it. They acted like the world was ending. Mom kept giving me evil looks and yelling about Dad waiting in the car for Aaron. She kept telling me I'm not 2 years old anymore. I don't need anyone to tuck me in. Then when Aaron and I were pretty much done, Dad came in and started screaming at both of us. That we were inconsiderate of his time and things he needed to do. What about your consideration for me? I only see Aaron once a week. I don't think it's so much to ask that he be able to tuck me in when he leaves. So Aaron went ahead and hugged me goodbye. Didn't even get to finish that because my dad screamed at him to get going. *rolls eyes*

Basically both of my parents feel like I'm a big burden. Anytime things don't go their way, they make sure to let me know that each and every thing they do for me is out of obligation. Wow, that sure makes me feel loved. Mom is always bitching about how Dad treats her, my brother, and me. But then she turns around and acts just like him. Puts Aaron and I in Dad's way just for the hell of it. Thank you, Mom. See if I ever listen to you talk about how much you can't stand living with him anymore. See if I freakin' care.

Parents are supposed to do things for their children out of love. And even if they do it out of obligation they ARE NOT supposed to rub that in the child's face every day of their lives. Which is what I get. Every day. I'm an inconvenience. I'm a burden. Then why the hell did you have kids? Why did you try so hard to convince me to stay at home for the next four years while I go to college? Let me tell you something. If I had a way to pay for my college besides Mom's employee scholarship at Tusculum, I would have an apartment rented for next month, and a U-Haul reserved for March 11th.

As it is, I'm going to have to do some serious thinking. There has to be some way I can pay for my college without my mom's scholarship. I would have to give up my Tokyo trip or wait until afterward to move out, but once I'm not saving for Japan anymore I could make rent, utilities, and food. Barely. But I could do it. As long as I didn't blow money on stuff I don't need. And once summer gets here I'll be making twice as much money working full time instead of the part time I have now. I could pay my rent, utilities, and food, and then I could save some to make it easier to get by during the school year.

I'm missing one other thing, though. A car and a license. I could probably grit my teeth and bear my house long enough to go to Japan, save money, get an el cheapo car, and have my dad drive with me to get my license. Then I'd be home free. Except for paying for college. That's something I will have to seriously investigate. Mom says I have to live with her in order to get her scholarship, but I think she's full of it. I think the fact that I'm her child qualifies me. I'll look into it somehow.

Any help, guys? Aaron would be sharing expenses with me once he turns 18 in September. I would only be on my own until then. I think I could manage it. I just need money for school. That's the one problem I have that I cannot find the solution to right now. And I plan to start an E-Bay "yard" sale when I turn 18 in a couple of weeks. Sell all of the stuff in my room that I don't want/need/use. I don't expect to make a fortune, but I'll have a good chunk of change from it.