I'm Supposed to be Working

But if I don't get this out somewhere, I'm going to break down. I'm already crying a little. I'm so stressed out, and there is NO WAY to lessen the things I have to do over the next two days. None whatsoever. On a normal weekday, for example. Work from 8AM to 11AM, class from 12:30PM to 3:30PM, and work again from 4PM to 5PM. By the time I get home and eat, it is 6PM before I can start my homework. I have to go to bed between 9PM and 10PM, or I will NOT be getting out of bed the next morning. Being tired makes me physically ill. My classes are only 18 days a piece. I cannot miss one because it's like missing a week of traditional class. I cannot miss work. I only get my twenty hours a week on this schedule, and without them there is no trip to Japan in June which I already paid my $500 non-refundable deposit on.

Tonight I have to read all of the articles I found as sources for my research paper for class. There are about twenty articles. Each with over 1,000 words. I have to "annotate" (take notes) on all of them. I have to do my outline and thesis for the paper. Tomorrow I have to write the rough draft. All six pages. The instructor said we only had to write about three pages for the rough draft, but if I wrote a rough draft as three pages and the final as six, I would have to start over and write two separate papers. I can't take a three page paper in its entirety and magically turn it into a six pager without completely re-writing it. I'm stressing out so bad that I'm having chest pains. I can feel the panic attack coming on...or a break down during which I waste my three hours of homework time crying and berating myself for my stupidity in some manner.

And on top of that Aaron works tonight from 4PM to 10PM. I can't talk to him about this stuff. I won't be able to stop by and see him because my mom will pitch a hissy if I ask. "What about all that homework you were complaining about?" Seriously? How's a two minute, "Hello, I love you, and good bye," visit going to affect my measly time as it is? Grr!! >_<;; And to make matters worse, I missed the one phone call I could have received from him at 3:30PM because I left my purse in my mom's office and went elsewhere. And for some reason that made me break out a few tears. He won't be able to call me again until after 10PM tonight. Someone put me out of my misery. (Not literally. Just find a way to get some of this stuff off of my to do list for a day or so! AH!) T-T

EDIT @ 6:48PM:
So basically I'm going to be pulling an all-nighter tonight so that I can just crash tomorrow night and now have to worry about anything. I'll be up all night unless I finish or just crash at my desk. At least if I crash I have tomorrow night as my back up. If I waited until tomorrow night, crashing would not be an option. The paper is due Friday. Wish me luck with my all-nighter. I will have only my caffeinted beverages and lots of candy to keep me company.

And my pretty flowers. : ) <3

To Do
1. Read pages 77 through 99 in the course packet for tomorrow.
Accomplished: 7:30PM.
2. Read one source, annotate it, and blog about it for tomorrow.
Accomplished: 8:30PM.
3. Read the remaining sources and annotate them. Mark according to rough outline.
Accomplished: 10:00PM.

At Some Point
1. Talk to my baby! : D (Aaron, you goofies.)
2. Drink lots of caffeine.

EDIT @ 10:20PM:
I cannot stay awake anymore. I think three solid hours of work is enough for this tired girl. I plan on working on the outline and thesis during my breaks tomorrow at school and maybe a little bit of the paper itself. Then I'll write the paper tomorrow night. I'm hoping to have it done around ten or eleven, but I may end up having to stay up later. Whatever. I'm too tired to care tonight. Oyasumi!

To Do Tomorrow
1. Refine thesis and outline.
2. Find an image and create the cover page.
3. Write introduction.
4. Write part I.
5. Write part II.
6. Write part III.
7. Write conclusion.
8. Create works cited page.
9. Scan over finished work.
(A grand total of 6 pages, excluding cover and bibliography!)
10. SAVE!
10. Crash. o(_ _)ozzZZZ