Insecurity

My mom has been trying her hardest to convince me to try out for American Idol for the past three seasons. Of course, I wasn't old enough until last season, and, obviously, I did not try out. But she and my brother are still trying to get me to do it. I'm just not sure I could take the pressure of the judges and the cameras. Not to mention so many people so much more talented than I. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm good. I just don't think I'm THAT good. *shrugs* I dunno'. I'll think about it.

So today was Valentine's Day. National Single Awareness day in my case. I only saw John once or twice at a glance, and a small flicker of hope appeared. But that flicker was quickly removed from my thoughts. Doesn't really matter. He and I are over, and we'll probably never even come close to dating again. I really need to come to terms with that. Bad.

I'm starting to get depressed again. I feel removed from my group of friends. They're always together at each other's homes on the weekends or at play practice. A play I was going to be in until the accident stopped me. I feel left out. It's not their fault. I'm letting stuff get to me that shouldn't even be stuff to begin with. Looks like it's time to face that oh-so-pleasant darkness once more in my life. *sigh*