Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!!

*throws confetti*

It's time for the good ol' New Year's resolutions! Some of them are angst inspired. You have been warned. : P

1) Tone up and lose weight. Preferably enough to be at an even 100lbs again. Please don't give me compliments and tell me I'm anorexic as it is, 'cause I'm not. I know better. I remember what it was like to look anorexic, and I surpassed that point a few years ago. Losing the flab would be a good step in the direction of feeling comfortable in my own skin. So, I plan to walk 3 miles every evening with my parents, stop eating junk so much so often, DDR at least 45 minutes to an hour at least every other day if not every day, and do one of my workout tapes at least four days a week (since there are four tapes total) if not every day.

2) Try harder in school. Lately I just haven't cared. I've done good enough to get an A, yes, but for me that's not enough. I'm one of the lucky few who can get an A with just barely putting forth any effort. I could do so much better if I really tried. And it would help my GPA get yet closer to the 4.0 I want. Next block's classes should be fairly simple so it will be good training for the amount of effort I want to start putting forth before my harder classes come up next year.

3) Keep up with my online responsibilities religiously. I neglect my websites more and more with each passing day. I'm tired of slapping layouts up and only writing entries on my journal once a month or so. I visit my favorite forums, but I rarely post. I only keep up with one online manga anymore. I read about a fourth of my dailies, but I don't comment on those. I feel bad about it. I used to feel such passion for web design and the upkeep of a website. I don't need ten websites like I had before, but I want to keep the ones I do have up better.

4) Get back into my creative hobbies. I've stopped writing. I've stopped drawing. I hate that. I used to write songs, stories, poems, and journals to the moon and back. And you could hardly find me without paper and pencil, sketching out ideas for online mangas, fan art, or just complete randomness. I've lost talent because I failed to put it to use. I want to be good again. I've got to practice and not be so self-critical about my art, whether it be drawn or written.

5) Learn Japanese. I've wanted to, but I'm just too lazy. However, I'll be visiting Japan in the summer of 2006. If I don't learn Japanese by then, me and anyone who goes with me will be completely lost. I'm the one everyone is depending on for a translator. I need to be ready. I'm not sure how I'll do it, but I need to. Badly. Writing, reading, speaking, and translating.

6) Learn more about Japanese culture and history. I feel so dumb about it when I run into someone who actually knows what they are talking about it. I know so little in the scheme of things. Once I learn Japanese, I can read up on stuff on Japanese web sites, much more than I can get from any English site.

7) Be comfortable in my own skin and stop caring what everyone else thinks. I'm too paranoid and self-critical when it comes to what someone else thinks of me. I need to just dress Japanesy and stop caring. Why should I? They don't. It's just my self-hatred trying to peek back out at me. I won't let it.

8) Start reading again. I used to read a big novel a day. I'm not exaggerating. I still love to read, the internet has just taken priority over reading. I'd like to start reading again. I've become interested in so many things by reading. Think of what I'm missing by not reading.

9) Save money for my trip to Japan. I spend every cent I have on clothes and junk. I need to force myself to put it away, or I will regret it when I get to Japan and cannot afford to buy any kind of souvenir.

10) Stay in better contact with my online friends and offline friends who only really talk to me online. I feel bad that it's just an IM here and there. I need to start having detailed conversations via e-mail with them again. They're some of the best friends I have.