Of Love & Friends

I've suddenly stopped caring so much about John. It was like an overnight change. I just woke up one morning, and I didn't care. I mean, I still care about him, and every once in a while I'll look at him or sigh, but not like it was just a mere week ago. I guess I came to my senses and realized I may care about him, but I'll live without him, ya' know? I don't need him, I just wanted him. And I've finally gotten to the point where I'll be just dandy if he and I never date ever again. And I'm very proud of myself for finally reaching that point. I think I deserve a cookie. A giant chocolate-chip cookie! : D I know that most of you despise him and will use this confession as a means for celebration. *cough*Shakaku*cough* ^_~

I think part of the reason for my realizing John isn't everything is my realization of how fast time is going by. This semester ends in five school weeks with Thanksgiving break thrown in there somewhere. I'm already a Junior in high school. I'll be graduating in just over a year and a half. May 2006 feels like a hop and a skip away. And while I'm scared, I'm ecstatic, too. Hanging out with my Aunt Jennifer's friends in their mid-twenties made me realize I need someone more mature when it comes to anything having to do with romance. The immaturity of high school boys just irks me to no end. And once I'm in college, dating someone a few years older will not be a huge deal like it is now when a Freshman gets picked on for dating an 8th grader when there is only a one year age difference. And I think I'll be happier in college. Charles Dickens must have had a flash forward to high school existence when he said, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

Though I must admit I have never been happier in high school than I am right now. I have some of the most wonderful friends in the world, I'm getting back into the internet and Japan, I'm doing well in school, and I know what I want to do with my life. Life couldn't be much better for me right now. Let's just hope things stay this way. It's been a long time since I could say I was honestly happy, even if it's only for a little while. And thank you all for bearing with me and my disappearance from the world wide web over the past few months. I didn't mean to neglect you all or my online responsibilities. I'll try harder, I promise. I may not write every day, but when I feel the need to, I will. Instead of thinking about it but being to lazy to click the mouse a few times and type a few paragraphs. Laziness is no excuse for me, and I know it. I love you all very much, and I appreciate all of your support more than you could ever know. Oh, and Almighty Frying Pan Goddess, I'm still working on that DongBangShinKi thing for you. Gomen. I'll try to get that working ASAP.